


What Are Friends For?

by de_la_rae



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (idk if this even counts as angst), Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Felix is so done, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, besties make for the best boyfriends (apparently), how did they not know they like each other, minho being an ally, teen for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25949830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/de_la_rae/pseuds/de_la_rae
Summary: "What are friends for?"That's the motto Jisung lives by, even though it really only applies to his best friend, Hyunjin. But what are friends, best friends, for? Well, Jisung can name a few things off the top of his head.Best friends are for helping each other cram the night before an exam, for remembering things the other sometimes forgets, for telling each other secrets.But apparently, Hyunjin had a different idea about what best friends were for. “Kissing practice?” Jisung said incredulously after Hyunjin suggested it.~In which Jisung and Hyunjin are besties, and then they kiss. Feelings ensue.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 16
Kudos: 167
Collections: Stray Kids





	1. Part 1: Jisung

**Author's Note:**

> hi! welcome to this fic!  
> thank you to the wonderful koto for beta reading this fic for me (go check out her fics, they're pretty great, 10/10 you will die from fluff overload).   
> and without further ado, enjoy!

_ What are friends for? _

That’s the motto Jisung lives by. If he had one of those moving letter boards, that’s probably what he would put on it. 

Of course, the motto only applies to one specific friend of Jisung’s. His best friend.

Jisung met Hyunjin at a playgroup at some random kid’s house that his mom forced him to go to. If it were up to Jisung, he’d spend all his time indoors rereading the Percy Jackson series. But alas, the world isn’t fair, so Jisung ended up at the playgroup anyway. 

Hyunjin’s arrival at the playgroup was more like a red carpet than a drop-off, probably because both of Hyunjin’s moms walked their son up to the front step of the house. Though the kids were kept quiet because of the presence of the adults, that didn’t mean they weren’t ready to jump on Hyunjin once his moms said goodbye. When the teasing began, Hyunjin took everything the kids threw at him with his head down. The insults didn’t stop as kids followed Hyunjin all the way from the entry to the corner of the couch Hyunjin managed to stake out. Even when Hyunjin buried his nose in a book – the first book in the Percy Jackson series, Jisung noticed – the teasing didn’t cease. 

That was when Jisung stepped in. 

Now, Jisung was by no means popular within the playgroup, but he’d gained respect from most of the kids by single-handedly destroying them at Swordplay on Wii Sports Resort. So when Jisung approached the kids crowding Hyunjin, all it took was a threatening-sounding “Leave him alone, or die” for the kids to scatter. 

Jisung crawled onto the couch next to Hyunjin, who barely gave him a glance before turning back to his book. “Thanks,” Hyunjin muttered. It sounded a little reluctant, but Jisung took it as a win. 

“You’re welcome,” Jisung said brightly, and leaned a little closer to Hyunjin, peering over his shoulder at the page of the book. “I love that part. Every time I read it I laugh super hard ‘cause I imagine what their faces looked like after that amusement park ride.” Jisung seemed to earn a small grin from Hyunjin at that, and he saw it as another tiny victory. “I think we’re technically best friends now.”

At that, Hyunjin raised an eyebrow and finally tore his gaze away from his book. “Best friends?” he asked cautiously. 

Jisung nodded. “Yeah, why not?”

Hyunjin looked down, but at his feet tucked underneath his legs, not the book page. “I’ve never had a best friend before,” he admitted.

“Me neither, actually,” Jisung said. “We can be each other’s first best friend!” 

Hyunjin’s gaze went from his feet to a smiling Jisung. A small smile crept onto his face. “Okay, then. Hello, new best friend.” 

“Best friend forever,” Jisung corrected, and Hyunjin’s small smile spread into a wide grin. 

But what are friends, best friends, for? Well, Jisung can name a few things off the top of his head. 

Best friends are for helping each other cram the night before an exam. One too many times has Hyunjin called Jisung the night before a chemistry test, or a biology test, or a physics test, and Jisung walked Hyunjin through the chapter in the textbook after sending Hyunjin pictures of his work. 

_ “You are a literal angel, Sungie, thank you so much,” _ Hyunjin said through speakerphone the night before their chem final. 

Something bubbled in Jisung’s chest at the compliment, probably pride, or embarrassment from the praise. “No need to thank me, Jinnie. What are friends for?” Jisung said before telling Hyunjin to get some sleep. 

Best friends are for remembering things the other sometimes forgets. While Jisung’s creative, albeit scattered, mindset is great for coming up with plotlines for entire fantasy novels in the shower, he tends to forget things his brain deems ‘mundane,’ things like packing a lunch for school, or finishing homework that his teacher assigned as the bell rang. 

“What’s this for?” Jisung asked, looking between the Cliff bar being pressed into his hands and Hyunjin. 

“You can’t not have lunch, Jisung,” Hyunjin deadpanned, looking Jisung straight in the eye. Jisung’s face burned from the heat of Hyunjin’s stare. Hyunjin had always been adamant about eating three meals a day, something Jisung sometimes forgot to do.

“But isn’t this your pre-dance snack?” Jisung asked, waving the bar in front of Hyunjin.

Hyunjin just shrugged. “You need it more than I do,” was all he said and leaned back on the wall. 

“But don’t you have rehearsal today? And doesn’t it go late today?” Jisung pried. He scooted down the empty hall they were eating in to get closer to Hyunjin, the sleeve of his jean jacket brushing up against Hyunjin’s shirt. 

Hyunjin took a bite of some veggie wrap and hummed as confirmation. “Till eight o’clock.”

Jisung’s mouth fell open. “I can’t take this, then. You’re gonna starve at rehearsal if you don’t have something to eat after school,” he pleaded, but it was to no avail. Hyunjin refused to take the bar back. 

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” Hyunjin said, looking at Jisung. Then with a grin, he said, “It’s not like I’m gonna die.”

“You might,” Jisung shot back. “I know how hungry you get.” At the word ‘hungry,’ Jisung’s stomach growled, and he wished that today of all days he’d thought to pack a lunch. Now, Hyunjin would suffer because of him. Jisung sighed and leaned back against the wall in defeat. He tore open the wrapper of the bar and glared at Hyunjin as he took a bite. He tried to look mad, but as the food hit his tongue, he couldn’t help smiling. “Happy now?” he asked, mouth full. 

Hyunjin laughed and poked one of Jisung’s cheeks with his finger. “Very,” he said, then stuffed the rest of the veggie wrap into his mouth. 

“I’ll bring you something while you’re at dance,” Jisung promised. 

Hyunjin grinned at Jisung as he balled up the bag the veggie wrap came in with his hands. “I’d like that.” 

“What are friends for?” Jisung said, mouth partially full of food. He told himself the warm feeling in his chest was the feeling of giving someone a gift they end up loving. It definitely wasn’t because Hyunjin directed his biggest eye smile at him. Not at all.

Best friends are for telling each other secrets. Jisung harbored one particular secret from Hyunjin for at least three months, which was three months shorter than the time Jisung spent lying to himself about this particular secret. 

“Hyunjin, I have something really important to tell you,” Jisung blurted out when he physically couldn’t keep it from Hyunjin anymore. 

Hyunjin turned to him with a worried look and even got up from his desk chair to sit next to where Jisung was lounging on his bed, nervously playing with his fingers. “What is it, Sungie? You sound really serious right now,” Hyunjin said.

Jisung breathed in and out, then figured he should probably just get it over with. “I’m gay,” he said and winced at his voice. It was the first time he’d said it out loud, and even though he’d admitted it to himself long ago, it sounded different when he put the words out into the air.

Hyunjin blinked. “You’re gay,” he said, more of a statement than a question. 

Jisung pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah,” he said lamely. “Are you, you know, good with that?”

It took a moment for Hyunjin to process Jisung’s question, and when he did, he let out his signature high-pitched laugh, the one Jisung told him probably sounds like fairies. Jisung stared at his best friend, who was apparently going to laugh until his lungs gave out with wide eyes, astonished at his behavior. Jisung had literally just come out to him, and Hyunjin just… laughed? The sinking feeling in the pit of Jisung’s stomach didn’t make him feel any better. 

Once Hyunjin got control of himself, he fixed Jisung with a goofy grin. “Am I good with that? You do realize I have two moms, right?” 

It was only then that Jisung realized how silly it was of him to be worried about coming out to his best friend. Of course Hyunjin wasn’t going to reject him, or think he was weird. But then, why was he so nervous about it?

“And if we’re being completely honest,” Hyunjin starts, his grin fading away, leaving a more serious look on his face, “I like boys, too.”

Jisung tilted his head. “You’re also gay?”

Hyunjin considered that for a moment before he shook his head. “No. At least, I don’t think so. I mean, I know I still like girls, but I also like other people too. I’m not really sure what to call what I am, though,” Hyunjin said. He looked down at his hands in his lap, and Jisung wanted to launch himself off Hyunjin’s pillows and hold Hyunjin’s hands.  _ Wait, what? _

Instead of that, Jisung settled for the next best thing. “Maybe you don’t know what you are right now, but I know you’ll find a name for it someday,” Jisung said, doing his best to be reassuring. He sat up and shuffled closer to Hyunjin. “Besides, who needs labels, am I right?”

Hyunjin huffed out a laugh, then turned to look at Jisung. “Thanks for that,” he said.

Jisung just grinned and wrapped his arms around Hyunjin. “What are friends for?”

But apparently, Hyunjin had a different idea about what best friends were for. 

“Kissing practice?” Jisung said incredulously after Hyunjin suggested it. It came out of his mouth louder than he’d expected, and he looked around wildly to make sure his mom hadn’t heard. Luckily, his outburst had been confined to the walls of his room, where he and Hyunjin were  _ supposed _ to be studying.

“Please, pretty please, Sungie?” Hyunjin begged, hands clasped together. “I just need a little bit of practice so I can impress my boyfriend, please?” He dragged out the ‘e’ in please for at least ten seconds. 

Jisung couldn’t have been more confused. Since when did Hyunjin want kissing practice? And since when did Hyunjin have a boyfriend?

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Jisung asked. 

Hyunjin swatted his hand at Jisung. “Just someone from the studio, you wouldn’t know him. But I really like him, and I need this practice, please, Sungie!”

Jisung didn’t know what made him relent. It could’ve been Hyunjin’s begging, or his absolute exasperation with his friend’s whining, but it absolutely wasn’t the tugging of his heart against his ribs when Hyunjin first mentioned  _ kissing. _

Hyunjin was positively overjoyed when Jisung reluctantly nodded his head. He dragged Jisung out of his chair and onto his bed, claiming it was the most comfortable spot in Jisung’s room. As Hyunjin thanked Jisung over and over again, Jisung internally wondered if he should pull out the tin of stale breath mints in his desk drawer. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t get a chance to ask Hyunjin if he’d prefer Jisung’s normal breath or minty breath because Hyunjin wanted to start right away. Jisung nearly jumped away when Hyunjin’s hand cupped the side of Jisung’s face. 

“Is this right?” Hyunjin asked tentatively. Jisung couldn’t conjure up a verbal response, so he just nodded his head and slightly leaned into Hyunjin’s hand. Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed, like he didn’t know what to do next, then his tongue swiped over his lower lip and he bit at it. The action was so slight that Jisung figured he must’ve done it subconsciously. At least, he hoped Hyunjin did it subconsciously. He didn’t think he could handle it if Hyunjin had done it on purpose. 

But why should he care what Hyunjin’s doing? He was just practicing, practicing for his boyfriend that Jisung’s never heard about. But no matter how many times Jisung repeated  _ he’s just practicing _ in his head like a permanent mantra, he couldn’t help the heat rising to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

“Ready?” Hyunjin asked again, but this time, he sounded more sure of himself. His eyes flitted down to Jisung’s lips, then back up to Jisung’s eyes, and Jisung swore he felt his heart do a cartwheel.

Feeling his cheek heat up under Hyunjin’s hand as each second went by, Jisung nodded quickly and muttered a breathless “yes.” Not long after the word left his lips, Hyunjin closed the distance between them. Jisung’s eyes flew wide open when their lips connected for the first time, but the longer Hyunjin pressed their lips together and ran his thumb gently over Jisung’s cheek, Jisung’s eyes fluttered shut. He let himself have this moment, this kiss, with his best friend. 

_ Wait a minute.  _

All too soon, Hyunjin pulled away and looked at Jisung with starry eyes. His hand lingered on Jisung’s cheek until Jisung cleared his throat, snapping Hyunjin out of a daze. He jerked his hand away. “Well, uh, that went well,” Hyunjin said. He looked everywhere but at Jisung, even laying his eyes upon the figurines displayed on Jisung’s bookshelf he always claimed were ‘ghastly.’ 

After swallowing the lump in his throat, Jisung finally found words. “Yeah,” he said, “I think your boyfriend’s gonna be impressed.”

Hyunjin whipped his gaze around to Jisung and looked at him quizzically, then realization dawned on his face. “Right, my boyfriend. Um, well,” Hyunjin stuttered, “I think maybe I should, uh, get going.”

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows and pouted. “I thought we were studying together. Big math test tomorrow?” 

Hyunjin pushed himself off Jisung’s bed and gathered his things haphazardly into his backpack, which only made Jisung more confused. Hyunjin got annoyed if the corner of a worksheet was dog-eared, and with the way he was shoving everything into his backpack, there was going to be a lot more than just dog-eared paper to deal with later. 

“I – I think I’d better finish at home. Wanted to go over some flashcards, and I know you hate flashcards.” It was true, Jisung did hate flashcards. He would never be able to figure out how people did productive studying with them.

But despite something pounding against his ribcage telling him to make Hyunjin stay, Jisung said, “Oh, okay. I’ll, um, see you tomorrow, then. And I’ll text you tonight, to make sure you sleep early-ish.” Hyunjin only offered Jisung a small smile, one that looked like it was hiding too many emotions behind it when he looked at Jisung over his shoulder before opening the door and letting himself out. Once Hyunjin closed the door, Jisung flopped back onto his bed and groaned loudly. 

_ I just kissed my best friend, _ he thought. And when he did, his heart started racing a hundred miles an hour. That was when he realized:  _ I have a crush on my best friend. _

_ ~ _

Hyunjin may be the only person Jisung’s ‘what are friends for’ motto applies to, but considering he can’t rant to Hyunjin about Hyunjin, he goes with the next best person. 

This is how he finds himself at a local coffee shop sitting across the table from Felix, Jisung’s running buddy during track practices who also happens to take the same dance classes as Hyunjin on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 

“And so, we kissed, then he just left! Like nothing even happened, something about studying flashcards,” Jisung finishes his rant about Hyunjin and takes a sip of iced Americano, cringing at the bitter taste.  _ Why did I even order this?  _ he thinks, then remembers. It’s Hyunjin’s favorite drink; he’s gotten accustomed to ordering the same thing.

“And, let me guess, you like him?” Felix asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He’d finished his coffee towards the middle of Jisung’s rant, so now he’s just swirling ice around in the bottom of the cup with his straw, a very bored expression on his face. 

Jisung fixes Felix with a pointed stare after rolling his eyes. “No, I kissed him for XP points – yes, Felix, of course I like him!” Jisung exclaims. He takes another sip of his drink out of habit, forgetting that he doesn’t like how it tastes, then shoves it across the table. It slides across the slick wood and bumps into Felix’s elbow, nearly careening off the edge. Felix sighs and picks up Jisung’s cup, setting it in the middle of the table, out of Jisung’s reach before he wipes the condensation off his arm. 

“And, you’re sure he doesn’t like you,” Felix says, a statement rather than a question. 

Jisung rolls his eyes again. “Felix, he has a boyfriend, of course he doesn’t like me! That’s the problem: I like him, but he’s unavailable, but we kissed. How am I supposed to live with myself?” Jisung cried out before burying his head in his hands. 

He hears Felix sigh again from across the table and he peeks out from between his fingers. He’s expecting some comforting words from Felix, maybe a ‘that really sucks, dude,’ but what Felix says is, “You absolute dumbass.” 

Jisung looks over both shoulders to make sure Felix was talking to him, then points at himself to double-check. “Me?” he asks, and Felix nods, looking bored again. “I can’t believe you. I tell you my sob story, and you insult me?”

“Well, it’s true,” Felix says like he’s stating the obvious, and goes back to swirling the ice at the bottom of his cup. After about five seconds, Jisung swipes the cup from Felix’s grasp and sets it in the middle of the table next to his unfinished yet discarded drink. 

“Oh, is it now?” Jisung says, fluttering his eyelashes as if he’s the peak of innocence. It’s Felix’s turn to roll his eyes. “Please, enlighten me,” he says, resting his chin in his hands, elbows propped up on the table. 

Felix sighs for the third time. “Jisung, Hyunjin doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

Jisung blinks a few times, then sits up straight in his seat as if that might improve his hearing. “Sorry, Hyunjin  _ what?” _

“He doesn’t have a boyfriend,” Felix repeats. 

“Impossible,” Jisung says, swatting his hand at Felix. “The only reason he wanted to kiss me was to practice for his boyfriend, if he doesn’t have one that would mea – oh my god.” Jisung stops and his mouth drops into an ‘o’ shape. Felix snorts and reaches for his cup of ice, swirling the ice with the straw again. “That smooth little motherfucker,” Jisung mutters under his breath. 

He stands up, promptly knocking his chair over, which makes a huge clattering noise when it hits the floor, but Jisung barely registers it. He definitely doesn’t see the annoyed look the barista gives him and he probably doesn’t realize that there’s a dopey grin spreading on his face. He turns to Felix abruptly. “I have to go,” he says and slaps a bill on the table to pay Felix back. “It was nice seeing you!” Jisung shouts as he runs out of the coffee shop, the bell above the door tinkling as he leaves. 

Felix sighs once more and swirls the ice around in his drink again. “What’s up with him?” Felix turns to the counter at the barista’s voice. 

He just stands up, moving to throw away his and Jisung’s coffee cups in the proper receptacle bins. “I think he had an epiphany,” is all Felix says to the barista, who just shrugs in return and goes back to sweeping.

*** 

By the time Jisung punches the door code into the keypad at the community center Hyunjin’s dance school rents studio space from, it’s seven-thirty, which means Hyunjin’s class is ending. Jisung struggles with the door handle at least twice before he pulls it open, and runs through the entry hall, shoes thumping on the floor.

There’s a small trickle of dancers carrying warm-up gear and water bottles, their skin shining with a considerable amount of sweat as Jisung makes his way to the big studio at the other end of the building. One of the girls carrying two pairs of pointe shoes gives him a weird look as he dodges and weaves through all the dancers. 

Luckily for Jisung, Hyunjin likes to stay in the studio a little after class gets dismissed. There’s a little tugging at his heart when he remembers this, and he grins because he’s so proud of his best friend – no, his  _ crush _ – for being so dedicated to something he loves. 

Not thirty seconds after Jisung pants to a stop near the studio door does Hyunjin walk out of it, arms laden with his water bottle and a couple of colorful stretchy ribbons –  _ Therabands _ , Jisung remembers. Jisung’s waiting so close to the door that Hyunjin runs into him when he leaves the studio and drops his water bottle, which crashes to the floor with a deafening  _ clank. _

“J – Jisung,” Hyunjin says, eyes locked on Jisung’s, even as he bends down to pick up his water bottle. “Um, what are you doing here?” His voice is cautious, and Jisung knows why. Jisung being at the studio means that he might have the chance to run into Hyunjin’s nonexistent boyfriend. 

Jisung flutters his eyelashes innocently and plays with the hems of his sleeves, and now that he’s looking, he notices the slight pink tinge on Hyunjin’s ears that he knows isn’t from dance because Hyunjin’s ears don’t get flushed when he dances. “I can’t see my  _ best friend _ , now, huh?” he says, emphasizing the words ‘best friend.’ Hyunjin can’t seem to find an answer for that; he just plays with the handle of his water bottle. Jisung sighs, and decides he should just get right to the point. “Where’s your boyfriend?” he asks, and Hyunjin meets his eyes worriedly. 

“Oh, uh,” Hyunjin stutters, “he’s in the changing room already, I think.” He nods at the end of his sentence like that would cement his lie. Jisung’s not buying it. 

“Okay, then, I guess I’ll just wait here,” Jisung says, and plants his butt on the bench lining the wall outside the studio.

Hyunjin blinks at Jisung a couple times before he shakes his head quickly. “Wait, um. Okay, cool,” Hyunjin says, rubbing the material of one Theraband between his fingers. “Uh, why?”

Jisung puts on his sweetest smile as he looks up at Hyunjin from picking at the material of his jeans. “Because,” he says, drawing the word out, “I wanna meet the guy who’s been benefitting from my kissing lesson.”

The look on Hyunjin’s face after those words leave Jisung’s mouth is unrivaled. His mouth is open comically wide in a little ‘o’ shape, but he closes it quickly after he processes what Jisung said. “I, uh, you – you wanna meet him?” he asks timidly. Jisung nods, keeping the smile plastered on his face. He’d be lying if he said he isn’t having fun toying with Hyunjin like this, especially with the amount of color present on Hyunjin’s face that most definitely isn’t from dancing, considering class got out five minutes ago. 

Hyunjin sighs, the worried expression on his face almost looking pained by now, and finally nods at Jisung. “O – okay, you can meet him. Let me just go drop my stuff off in the changing room, and I’ll, uh, bring him out to you. Wait here, okay?” Jisung nods in agreement, but as he watches Hyunjin’s back disappear down the hall, he furrows his brow.  _ That’s not how it was supposed to go, _ Jisung thinks. What was  _ supposed  _ to happen was he would call Hyunjin’s bluff, Hyunjin would admit it, and they would kiss again, even though Hyunjin’s a little sweaty, and live happily ever after. 

Jisung leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes, squeezing them shut in frustration after a moment.  _ I should be kissing him by now, _ he thinks regretfully, and the tugging feeling comes back again, much stronger this time. 

He’s wondering how Hyunjin’s going to pull this lie off when he, in fact, does  _ not _ have a boyfriend from dance when he hears footsteps coming from down the hall. Jisung’s eyes fly open and he jolts off the bench. What’s strange is it sounds like there’s more than one pair of footsteps. At that thought, Jisung’s stomach ties itself in knots.  _ Was Felix wrong about Hyunjin not having a boyfriend? _

Jisung braces himself before Hyunjin reappears, another dancer following behind him. When he catches sight of Jisung, Hyunjin grabs the other guy’s hand, holding it tight. Surprise washes over the dancer’s face, but he masks it fairly quickly. Jisung isn’t sure whether that’s normal for a couple, but maybe the guy’s not the touchy type.

_ Or they could be faking it, _ the hopeful part of Jisung’s brain, the part closest to his heart, supplies.

“Hi,” Jisung says brightly as Hyunjin and the other guy come closer. Hyunjin manages a smile for his best friend, and the guy slightly inclines his head as a greeting. 

“Jisung,” Hyunjin says, breathing in deeply. “This is Minho.” He gestures briefly toward the dancer, Minho, who gives Jisung a tiny wave.  _ He is nailing the nervous boyfriend getting introduced to the best friend role,  _ Jisung thinks and makes a mental note to praise Minho’s acting skills once this whole thing is behind them.  _ If Minho is just pretending to be Hyunjin’s boyfriend,  _ he reminds himself, and a sour taste fills the back of his throat.

“Hi, Minho,” Jisung says. “Nice to put a face to the name.” He’s just saying that for formality’s sake. Hyunjin never told him his boyfriend’s name, now that Jisung thinks about it. He shakes Minho’s hand, again out of formality, and after an extended period of strained eye contact, Hyunjin blurts something about needing to get their stuff. 

_ You better have a good reason for this, Hwang Hyunjin, _ Jisung thinks as he walks Hyunjin and Minho back to the men’s changing room. He doesn’t miss the telling glances the two dancers shoot at each other behind Jisung’s back.  _ Because if you don’t, I might not be able to forgive you for messing with my heart like this.  _


	2. Part 2: Hyunjin

Hyunjin fucked up. He fucked up real bad. 

And it wasn’t just one time, either. No, he managed to make a beautiful mess of his life more than once. 

The first time was when he asked Minho to pretend to be his boyfriend. He barged into the changing room with his face still flushed and panicking. Once the door slammed shut behind him, he announced to all the boys in the changing room, “I need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend, just for a little bit,” the confession flowing out like word vomit. Then, a little more desperately, “Please?” 

Of course, all the boys he was talking to were straight, so naturally, most of them bowed their heads at the possibility that they would have to pretend to be gay.  _ It’s not like most queer people spend most of their lives trying to be straight or cis or anything like that, _ Hyunjin grumbled to himself internally. But that was not a conversation he needed to have with these guys right now, especially when he was trying to appeal to them. 

Luckily for him, one boy raised his hand shyly and straightened up. “I’ll do it,” he said.  _ Minho, _ Hyunjin thought. 

“Oh, thank whatever god is up there,” Hyunjin said and beckoned Minho out of the dressing room. 

They didn’t get far down the hall before Minho asked, “Why do you need a fake boyfriend?”

Hyunjin cringed at the question. He stopped and looked at the floor. “I told my best friend I wanted to impress my boyfriend, so I asked him if he’d give me a kissing lesson.” Hyunjin’s face heated to the temperature of the sun as he spoke. When he looked up to Minho, he expected a look of pity, maybe even disgust. 

But Minho just looked at Hyunjin fondly. “You like him, don’t you?” was all he said. Hyunjin could only nod in response. Minho heaved a sigh. “Well, better make this look convincing, then.” 

No, the first time he fucked up was when he kissed his best friend – under the guise of practicing for a nonexistent boyfriend, no less. 

Jisung had been so surprised when Hyunjin had asked for his help, but even so, he’d gone along with it anyway. Hyunjin remembers the feel of Jisung’s cheek under his hand, Jisung’s lips on his own, and the  _ something _ glimmering in his eyes after Hyunjin pulled away. 

Hyunjin had nearly blown his cover then. He’d gotten so caught up in kissing Jisung, kissing his best friend, that he forgot that he had lied to kiss him in the first place. As Hyunjin left Jisung’s house that day, something twisted into his chest like a knife, spreading throughout his body until all he could do when he got home was crawl into bed and close his eyes.  _ How could something so wrong feel so right? _ Hyunjin wondered to himself as he let the hours drag on. 

He failed that math test. 

No, scratch that, the first time he fucked up had to be the time he fell for his best friend. 

Hyunjin isn’t sure when it was that he realized he’d fallen for Jisung. Maybe that’s because falling for his best friend was a long time coming. Maybe he’d been falling for him since he was able to have feelings like that for someone else. 

Maybe the moment that sealed the deal was when Jisung took the bus with Hyunjin to dance after Hyunjin let slip that there was a creepy guy that always watched him on the ride to the dance school. Jisung didn’t stop riding the bus with Hyunjin until they saw the creepy guy get arrested a few months later. Hyunjin wasn’t sure who reported the guy, but it very well could’ve been Jisung. 

Or maybe it was when Jisung dropped off the biggest bouquet on Mother’s Day knowing Hyunjin would forget, which was strange in and of itself because, usually, Jisung was the forgetful one of the two of them. But when Hyunjin saw the flowers on the doorstep and the note in Jisung’s handwriting saying,  _ ‘There are enough flowers for both your moms and then some for you,’ _ he felt something for Jisung that was a little too strong to be gratitude. 

Or maybe it was when they were having a sleepover and Jisung came trodding down the stairs into Hyunjin’s living room to watch a movie wearing one of Hyunjin’s sweatshirts. It was one of his dance hoodies, the one with the frayed hem. Watching Jisung get comfortable in a blanket next to him  _ in his sweatshirt  _ sent this warm feeling up from Hyunjin’s stomach to his throat. It was so suffocating and overwhelming Hyunjin felt like he couldn’t breathe. The moment was ruined when Jisung spilled water all over Hyunjin’s pant leg, but throughout the movie, Hyunjin couldn’t shake the ghost of the feeling of seeing Jisung cuddled up in his sweatshirt. 

The worst part about the whole situation is that Hyunjin can’t tell Jisung how he feels because  _ that’s not what friends are for. _

Friends are for helping each other study the night before an exam, or for reminding each other about things they’ve forgotten, even if it’s just little things like a Mother’s Day gift. 

But friends, best friends especially, are not for kissing, and are most definitely not for falling in love with. 

And that’s why Hwang Hyunjin is the worst best friend ever. 

~

Friday’s are usually the nights Hyunjin spends with Jisung. It doesn’t matter whether Hyunjin goes to Jisung’s or Jisung comes to Hyunjin’s, but Friday’s are  _ their  _ days, the days where they unwind from the school week and do best friend things like watch movies and do karaoke holed up in their bedrooms. 

But all that was before Hyunjin got a ‘boyfriend.’ This Friday, Jisung told Hyunjin they didn’t have to hang out so Hyunjin could have a date night with Minho. That would be the sweetest thing except for the fact that Hyunjin and Minho are, in fact,  _ not  _ dating. Of course, Hyunjin can’t tell Jisung that, so he’s sitting in a local café across from Minho sipping an iced Americano because he feels like going through the motions with Minho will make him feel better about lying to Jisung. 

“So, I’ve been talking with Jisung.”

Hyunjin spits his sip of iced Americano right back into the cup through the straw. His eyes bug out as he looks at Minho, who doesn’t seem to see the problem with his statement. In fact, Minho looks mildly amused by Hyunjin’s reaction. Hyunjin doesn’t like that look on Minho’s face at all. 

“You  _ what?”  _ Hyunjin asks. The only hope Hyunjin has left is that Minho’s just joking with him, that he’s doing a prank cam or something stupid like that.  _ Straight people do love a good prank cam, please let it be that,  _ he thinks.

But Minho just shrugs. “I said, I’ve been talking with Jisung.” Yep, now Hyunjin’s officially done for. 

Hyunjin leans his elbows on the table. “You do see the problem with that, right?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at Minho. 

“Not particularly,” Minho admits, leaning against the back of his seat. “Jisung’s nice and he’s fun to talk to. I can see why you like him, but you probably have a longer list of reasons to like him than I do.” Hyunjin can’t say he’s a fan of the wry smile, a smirk, really, that comes to Minho’s face as he speaks. 

“No, that’s the problem! If you get close with Jisung you’re gonna end up spilling about –  _ this.” _ Hyunjin gestures wildly between them with his hand. “Then he’s gonna get so mad at me, he’ll never talk to me again, and I can’t live like that Minho, I _ can’t.”  _ He chokes out the last word and buries his head in his hands.

And it’s true. Despite harboring feelings for his best friend for who knows how long, Hyunjin would choose to be just best friends a million times over losing Jisung’s friendship. Jisung’s been there for Hyunjin through thick and thin, the good and the bad; who is he to ruin all that with his stupid feelings?

“Hey, Hyunjin,” Minho says, his voice a lot gentler than it was when he was teasing him. Hyunjin peeks through his fingers at Minho. His expression is soft, not pitying. More like reassuring. “I’m sure Jisung would understand. It wouldn’t be very best friend-like of him to ditch you after all this – especially since he – ” Minho stops himself before he can go on, pursing his lips to keep his mouth shut. 

Hyunjin narrows his eyebrows. He has a slight feeling, a small inkling Minho almost let something slip that he wasn’t supposed to. Now, Hyunjin leans back in his seat and watches Minho squirm under his gaze. “Is there something you’re not telling me, Minho?”

Minho fiddles with his hands in his lap in favor of making eye contact with Hyunjin. “Nothing you need to know,” he mumbles to his lap. 

“You positive?” Hyunjin pries. “Because I wouldn’t want to be the one keeping someone in the dark about their best friend, especially when this sounds like valuable, possibly friendship-altering information you’re withholding. But that’s only if I were you, and I’m not you, obviously.” 

Minho looks at Hyunjin with a pained expression before blowing a sigh out of his lips. “Fine, I guess I’m gonna tell you,” he says. Hyunjin perks up and scoots his chair a little closer to the table. Minho tries to start, then sighs again and lowers his head. “Felix is gonna kill me,” he whispers, mostly to himself before meeting Hyunjin’s eyes again.  _ So Felix is in on this, _ Hyunjin notes. “Hyunjin, by some miracle unbeknownst to me, Felix and Jisung himself, you’ve failed to realize that Jisung fucking  _ likes you.” _

Hyunjin blinks a couple times as Minho’s words, specifically the last four sink into his skin, bury themselves in his brain once they’ve gotten through his stupidly thick skull. His first instinct is to deny everything; Minho’s probably just messing with him. “No, that’s impossible. Jisung’s just my best friend. He was just doing his best-friend duties when he let me kiss him – wait, oh my  _ fuck.”  _ Hyunjin looks at Minho with wide eyes. Minho just looks at him with his statue-esque stare, though a small grin peeks through his nonchalant façade. “He – Jisung likes… me?”

Minho just nods, his smile growing bigger by the second like he can’t control it. Hyunjin jolts out of his chair, nearly knocking it over as it scrapes against the floor, but he barely registers the noise. “I have to go,” Hyunjin says and grabs his bag off the back of the chair. “Thanks for the date, Minho!” He doesn’t have time to put air-quotes around the word ‘date,’ which leaves Minho in a state of embarrassment, especially since Hyunjin’s outburst turned a few heads. 

“You’re just gonna let your boyfriend run off like that?” a girl sitting a few tables away says, raising an eyebrow in Minho’s direction. Minho doesn’t know if it’s a disapproving eyebrow raise or a pitying eyebrow raise, and he’s not sure which he prefers. 

“Oh, he’s – he’s not my boyfriend. Fake-dating,” Minho explains, feeling heat rush to his face. 

The girl just nods, obviously unconvinced. “That’s what they all say.”

*** 

It doesn’t take Hyunjin long to get from the café to Jisung’s house; it’s only five blocks away. Hyunjin keeps his eyes glued to his feet and the pavement beneath them the entire walk. He doesn’t need to look up to know which street corner to turn on or which steps to stop at. It’s natural by now, the way Hyunjin knows how to get to Jisung’s house, how to get to Jisung. 

_ Then, maybe… _ Hyunjin wonders as he steps onto the doormat. He entertains the thought that falling for Jisung could’ve been just as natural as the way his feet made their way to Jisung’s house. He chuckles and rings the doorbell.  _ Only one way to find out. _

When the door opens, Hyunjin is prepared to talk to Jisung, to tell him everything, to spell out his feelings right there on the doorstep, but he stops short because Jisung isn’t the one who answers the door. Standing in the doorway is Jisung’s mom wearing her college’s sweatshirt that Hyunjin knows she only wears when she’s baking because she doesn’t care if she gets flour on it. 

“I’ve been wondering when you’d stop by,” Jisung’s mom says, holding the door open a bit wider. 

Hyunjin ducks inside and slides off his shoes. “Thanks, Mrs. Han. Um, where is…” Hyunjin trails off, but his question is obvious. 

Mrs. Han just points to the stairs before crossing her arms. “You’d better fix him up, okay?” she says, then her tone softens. “I don’t like seeing him like this.”

Hyunjin purses his lips and nods, a silent promise to Jisung’s mom, then he bounds up the stairs and walks the well-worn path to Jisung’s room. Hyunjin stops in front of the door. There’s music streaming through the crack at the bottom, a soft, sad melody. Hyunjin’s heart twists itself tighter when he hears Jisung singing along, his voice adding so much more color and emotion. It’s a song from Jisung’s study playlist, but Hyunjin knows Jisung always ends up singing along to the songs instead of studying. But all those times, Hyunjin never stopped him because he always found himself grinning at the way Jisung used his calculator as a microphone. 

But as much as Hyunjin just wants to lean against the door and imprint Jisung’s voice permanently into his memory, there’s something a little more important that he needs to do. So, he closes his hand around the doorknob and turns it. 

Hyunjin’s not sure how Jisung can look surprised and unsurprised at the same time, but he manages to pull it off. The surprise crosses his face first before he can put a lid on it and mask his face with nonchalance, an emotion Jisung’s never been good at faking, especially to Hyunjin. 

“You’re here,” Jisung says, swiveling in his desk chair. He stops himself by planting his foot on the ground and fixes Hyunjin with a blank stare that’s hiding more emotions than Hyunjin can count. “Minho?”

“Isn’t my boyfriend,” Hyunjin blurts, not daring to look away from Jisung for a moment. Jisung’s lips part in surprise before he regains control of them and closes his mouth, looking up at Hyunjin with furrowed eyebrows. Clearly, an explanation is warranted. “I never kissed you because I wanted to impress my boyfriend. When I kissed you, I didn’t have a boyfriend. I kissed you because I like you and I wanted to kiss you; I’d wanted to kiss you for a long time.” 

At his confession, something glimmers in Jisung’s eyes, but Hyunjin can’t tell exactly what it is. “The way I went about doing it though was so, so incredibly selfish, and I’m sorry for that. I can never, ever apologize enough for using you. I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I also wanted to remain friends, and I knew best friends don’t kiss each other.” Hyunjin sighs sadly before continuing and drops his eyes to the floor. “And best friends aren’t supposed to fall for each other.”

Hyunjin stands there for what feels like a long time, wallowing in Jisung’s silence. He knows he doesn’t deserve a response, and he doesn’t expect one. But what Minho said in the café got his hopes up, and now he’s hoping more than ever that his best friend will stop him as he turns to leave.

“Hyunjin.” He looks over his shoulder and meets Jisung’s eyes, and he finally realizes what was glimmering in them this whole time. Jisung pushes himself off his chair and leans against the end of his desk, and since Jisung’s room isn’t that big, that leaves little space between Jisung and Hyunjin. Jisung lets out a little sigh and a smile graces his lips. “If best friends aren’t supposed to fall for each other, then what does that make us?”

It takes a few seconds for Hyunjin’s brain, all hyped up on hope and  _ something else _ , to realize the meaning behind Jisung’s question. When he does, a smile spreads wide on his face and he turns to face Jisung. “I’m assuming that question was rhetorical?” he asks, and when Jisung nods quickly, Hyunjin can’t hold himself back anymore, closing the space between them and pulling Jisung into the tightest hug he can muster. 

Jisung grips him just as tightly, his hands splayed across Hyunjin’s back, his head buried in Hyunjin’s shoulder. Neither of them knows exactly how to express how euphoric, how  _ relieved  _ they are, but the few teardrops Hyunjin feels on his shirt are enough for him. 

He pulls away from Jisung and cups his face with his hands, gently caressing Jisung’s cheeks with his thumbs. Jisung blinks away a few more tears and manages a smile as he brings his hands up to hold Hyunjin’s wrists. Hyunjin’s skin blazes where Jisung touches it, the feeling becoming only slightly muted by the fabric of his shirt as Jisung loops his hands behind Hyunjin’s neck. 

“Can you kiss me?” Jisung chokes out, his voice thick with the tears he cried. 

Hyunjin smiles, a little chuckle escaping his lips. “Can  _ I  _ kiss  _ you?” _

Jisung nods, biting his lower lip as if he’s nervous. “Please,” he breathes. 

Hyunjin has no reason to withhold that from Jisung, so he obliges, connecting his lips with Jisung’s. He’s pretty sure Jisung sighs into the kiss like he’s been waiting for it all his life. Hyunjin closes his eyes and lets the feel of Jisung’s cheeks under his hands, Jisung’s lips against his own guide him. Around the time Hyunjin nips at Jisung’s lower lip, Jisung’s arms wrap tighter around Hyunjin’s neck, pulling him closer still. 

Hyunjin can’t help but smile as he kisses Jisung, as Jisung kisses him back. He’s spent so much time thinking Jisung was unattainable, but really, he’s been here this whole time. Maybe falling for each other came so naturally because by now, they both know the way to each other’s heart, just like Hyunjin’s feet know the way to Jisung’s house. 

He’s not sure who pulls away first, but it doesn’t really matter to Hyunjin. He enjoys the feeling of touching Jisung’s forehead with his own as they catch their breath. Jisung looks him in the eye and smiles one of the smiles he reserves for Hyunjin, which makes Hyunjin’s heart go ballistic. 

Hyunjin pulls Jisung away from the desk and towards Jisung’s bed, both of them flopping down like it’s any old day, but this time, their hands are intertwined. Hyunjin pulls Jisung into a hug and the two end up falling backwards into the mountain of pillows and plushies Jisung has stacked on his bed. It’s nice, Hyunjin decides, holding Jisung in his arms, knowing that their hearts are beating for each other. 

“So… does this still mean we’re best friends?” Hyunjin asks, breaking the silence. 

Jisung snorts, which devolves into chuckling that rumbles through his and Hyunjin’s bodies. “I’m a little offended that you don’t want to be more than best friends after that. Was I not a good kisser?”

Hyunjin laughs, squeezing Jisung tightly. “No, you were, trust me,” he says into Jisung’s ear, rejoicing in the little shiver that travels through Jisung. He settles back into the pillows. “We can be best friends and boyfriends, right?” Hyunjin doesn’t want to lose Jisung’s friendship, even if it means his feelings are reciprocated. After all, finding a new best friend sounds like a terrible amount of work. Besides, he likes his current best friend. 

Jisung hums thoughtfully and traces over Hyunjin’s knuckles with one finger. “I suppose we could make that work, as long as it means I get to kiss you whenever I want.”

Hyunjin plants a kiss on the top of Jisung’s head before running his fingers through Jisung’s hair. “Sounds like a deal.”

And maybe this is what friends are for. 

Sure, friends are for talking to each other and helping to sort out their problems, whether the problem is between each other or something else. Friends are for being there for each other, whether that means going to watch every performance or reminding each other to take care of themselves. 

But maybe, just maybe, friends can be for kissing, and maybe, just maybe, you can fall in love with them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading all the way through to the end! i hope it was enjoyable and made you smile :)  
> comments and kudos are much appreciated, and *shameless self-promo* go check out my other fics if you feel like it  
> have a great day/night wherever you are and stay hydrated (it's the hottest day of the year for me rn, i'm dying)


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